How We ‘Do’ Anxiety—and How We Can Undo It

You might have heard people say, “I have anxiety” or “I’m just an anxious person.” But what if anxiety isn’t something we are, but something we do? This shift in perspective can be transformative. When we see anxiety as a set of habits or learned responses—rather than a part of our identity—it gives us back the power to change it.

What It Means to ‘Do’ Anxiety Let’s start by exploring this idea a bit further. What does it mean to “do” anxiety? Think of anxiety as a collection of patterns we participate in, often without even realising it. These patterns include repetitive thoughts, specific language, and physical responses that create a feedback loop, reinforcing the feeling of anxiety. When we repeatedly say, “I have anxiety” or “I am an anxious person,” we begin to identify with these patterns, making them feel unchangeable. The truth is, many of these anxious responses are things we do, not things we are.

Maybe you recognise some of these habits:

• Running through worst-case scenarios as a way to “prepare”

• Saying “what if” constantly, which keeps our minds focused on fear

• Physically tensing our bodies, especially the jaw, shoulders, or stomach

These habits keep us in “anxiety mode,” almost as though we’re reinforcing the anxious state. The good news? If we can recognise how we’re “doing” anxiety, we can start to shift these patterns and “undo” it.

Ways We ‘Do’ Anxiety Here’s a closer look at some common ways people “do” anxiety without realising it, and how we can begin to let go.

1. Ruminating on Negative Thoughts
   Replaying worst-case scenarios might feel like “being prepared,” but in reality, it tends to fuel anxiety. This habit makes it easy to get stuck in anxious thinking.

   How to undo it: Instead of letting these thoughts play on repeat, try asking, “What’s another way this could turn out?” Shifting focus to possible positive or neutral outcomes helps break the anxiety cycle.

2. Speaking in “What Ifs” and Negative Self-Talk
   Language shapes how we feel and think. When we catch ourselves saying, “I can’t handle this” or “What if everything goes wrong?” it amplifies anxiety. We’ve reinforced the belief that we’re helpless or vulnerable, which keeps us feeling anxious.

   How to undo it: Try swapping “what if” questions for “what if it goes well?” or “I’ll figure it out.” These small changes open up our thinking to positive outcomes, making us feel more capable and grounded.

3. Physical Tension
   Anxiety isn’t just in our minds—it’s in our bodies, too. Physical tension, like clenched jaws or tight shoulders, can create a loop of stress, signalling to our minds that we’re not safe. This tension reinforces the anxious state, creating a mind-body feedback loop.

   How to undo it: Relaxing the body can help calm the mind. Practice deep breathing, take a few moments to stretch, or use Havening techniques to release tension. This sends a message to the brain that it’s okay to relax, interrupting the anxious cycle.

How to Start ‘Undoing’ Anxiety If we’re willing to observe our habits and let go of the labels, we can slowly start to undo anxiety by practising awareness, shifting language, and connecting with the body.

1. Awareness and Acceptance
   The first step is noticing these patterns without judgment. Remember, you aren’t your anxiety; you’re just practising patterns that can be unlearned. The goal isn’t to eliminate every anxious thought but to gain perspective on them.

2. Challenge Your Language
   Our words are powerful. Shift statements like “I am anxious” to “I am feeling anxious.” This subtle change reminds you that anxiety is an experience, not an identity. From there, consider replacing “I can’t” with “I’ll try,” or “What if” with “Even if,” allowing you to think in more empowering ways.

3. Release Physical Tension
   Anxiety is a whole-body experience, so learning to release tension is essential. Techniques like deep breathing can help “teach” the body what calm feels like, reducing the impact of anxious thoughts.

4. Change Your Focus
   Shifting your focus to something positive or grounding can disrupt anxious thinking. Practice gratitude, visualise a calming scene, or engage in an activity that fully absorbs your attention. These small steps remind the mind of alternative ways to feel and think.

Closing Thoughts: Anxiety is often a pattern, not a part of our identity. When we stop saying, “I am anxious” and start seeing anxiety as something we do, we can begin to “undo” it. By making small changes, we can shift away from anxious habits and toward a place of calm, confidence, and freedom.